Dealing With Rejection

We learn at an early age that we don’t get everything we want. In other words, we have had to deal with rejection since then.

This may make you think that people accept rejection easily. However in reality the exact opposite is usually true.

People start to develop an invisible shield against rejection. They may show anger or resentment to the people who are serving up the rejection.

But, in many cases, it can show who is resilient and who is likely to continue until they get what they want.

No one likes to hear negative comments about themselves. People take it personally.

However, knowing the reason for rejection can help change your direction. You can correct the aspects that made people reject you in the first place.

This won’t work with everything. For instance, if a person you are attracted to does not return the favor, it may be difficult or impossible to turn this around.

Then again, there are numerous stories of people who persevered even when they were rejected time and again, and won the love of their lives.

Another instance where you may face rejection is during a job interview. Many candidates will pass this off as incompetence on the part of the interviewer, and there are certainly cases where this is true.

But, you should always try to evaluate the reasons why the interviewer did not choose you. You’d be surprised at how few people even ask for the reasons.

Interviewers won’t typically volunteer this information. Many will feel you don’t care if you don’t ask.

In many cases, rejection is not personal. You may not have the necessary skills when seeking a job, or you may not have enough experience, etc.

In other cases, it may be somewhat personal, but it may be in your best interest to get rejected. For instance, if you don’t have an aggressive personality, do you want to pursue a career that requires one? If you are in sales, you need to have this driving personality to succeed.

Use rejection to your benefit. People who accept rejection and don’t give up are usually the ones who eventually get that acceptance.

Sometimes, the very fact that you are persevering is what turns the tables from rejection to acceptance.

Whose to say that next opportunity is not the one that will accept you? You won’t know unless you continue on your quest.

Another thing to make crystal clear in your mind is that only you allow yourself to feel rejected. The problem is that the fear of rejection is a really powerful one so it can be difficult to not feel rejected when it happens.

Also realise that the person is not usually rejecting you personally, but rather your idea/opinion etc. Reframe it like that in your mind and you can free yourself from the paralysis that fear of rejection can cause.

And the person rejecting you now, may well soon be your most fervent supporter.

Dealing with rejection really is that simple. Changing your state of mind works wonders for many areas in your life and rejection is another one.

You have to remember that you are your own worst critic, so when someone disagrees or rejects you, the mind can blow it up out of all proportion and really go to town on your confidence.

Having gratitude for what you do have in your life can really help and it definitely gives you a sense of perspective.

Take time to think about family, friends, your passions or hobbies, and the things you probably always take for granted e.g. having a roof over your head or food in your belly.

Another way to deal with rejection is to use it as a learning opportunity. If you have had a business idea rejected or been turned down for a job, take some time to analyse what may have caused you to fail at this particular endeavour.

The key here is to be objective and, more importantly, to be really honest to increase the chances of success and reduce the risk of rejection in the future.

By doing this, you can actually rebuild your self-esteem and come out even stronger than before.

Dealing with rejection can be tough but it builds perseverance and character and it doesn’t last forever and you will be a much stronger person when you overcome it.

Life is full of challenges; relish them and grow into the person you want to become and overcome any obstacles that bar your way, including rejection.

And remember…

The stone that the builders rejected has become the cornerstone Psalm 118:22

You’ve got this… 💪