From an early age, we’re led to believe that nothing is more satisfying than finding happiness. But happiness is so elusive and intangible.
Plus, happiness is different for everyone, so how do you know when you find it? And is there something out there that can make you feel even better than happiness?
Yes! It’s called having a sense of fulfillment. Yet, what is that exactly, and how do you get it? That’s what we’re here today to find out.
So, keep reading to learn how you can stop chasing happiness to find fulfillment instead.
Happiness Vs. Fulfillment
Take a look at this quick overview of happiness vs. fulfillment because they are two vastly different ideas, and many people may not be sure about what they are and the differences between the two.
So, let’s dive in and take a look at happiness first…
Happiness includes feelings like contentment, excitement, and joy. But the problem with these kinds of emotions is that they are all temporary.
Sure, it feels nice while it lasts, but other emotions take over, like anger, fear, and anxiety, and these negative emotions tend to hang around for much longer!
The trap many of us fall into is that we believe we’ll reach our point of happiness when we achieve certain things in our lives.
Of course, you’ll be happy! But that happiness can only last so much. After that, reality sets in, especially when the bills start coming in.
Another problem with happiness is that we often view it in terms of other people. So, we compare our lives to theirs, which is never a good idea.
No one knows what’s going on in other people’s lives. So, it’s not fair to compare only the good parts. It sends you on a loop of perpetual disappointment. The only person you should compare yourself to is you.
When you pursue the things that really matter to you, you bring fulfillment into your life. Fulfillment is when you take actionable steps towards the things you value. Part of it is also achieving goals that were set up based on these core values.
Living your life with a consistent set of values allows you to have integrity towards who you truly are. It also allows you more control over your emotions and thoughts.
The bottom line is that happiness is dependent on external factors. Many of these factors are material and likely to change at any moment.
Fulfillment, on the other hand, is internally driven. You’re the one who determines what means more to you, and then by going after it, you elevate the levels of fulfillment in your life.
You can find fulfillment in many ways. But you have to choose to see it in every experience and situation in your life, especially those that don’t go your way.
It sounds more challenging than it really is, but it’s actually relatively easy once you know what you’re doing. And it’s way more rewarding and empowering than chasing the ever-fleeting feeling of happiness.
Here are some ways to find fulfillment and bring meaning to your life.
The great philosopher, Socrates, said, “Know Thyself” to encourage his students to look inward when searching for the meaning of life. So then, when you know your true nature, you can find fulfillment because you know your true self-worth.
The more you know about yourself, the more fulfillment you’ll find in life. Remember, fulfillment isn’t about having a nice house or the latest fashion. It’s much deeper than that and much more nuanced.
It just takes a bit of soul searching.
Helping others is one of the best ways to fill your life with fulfillment. You feel good by volunteering your time or money to help someone in need.
The science behind it is that helping others boosts the release of ‘feel-good’ chemicals in our brains. Some of these include hormones, such as dopamine and serotonin.
So, whether you’re helping a friend move or helping out at a local soup kitchen, you’re bringing joy and ease into other people’s lives. Not only that, but you’re also making yourself feel more fulfilled.
Surrounding yourself with a healthy, supportive social circle allows you to feel connected to something. In addition, being part of something fosters a sense of fulfillment in your life.
You have people you can talk to anytime you feel sad or stressed out. Consequently, you don’t suffer from any feelings of isolation, disconnection, or separation.
Having a sense of gratitude can help you see the purpose in life and feel like you’re connected to a greater good. Gratitude also boosts your overall health and encourages positive emotions, which can come in handy when you’re going through a tough time.
It also motivates you to strive for more. Yet, when there’s a setback, you focus more on what you have and what you’ve accomplished rather than wallowing in your losses.
Keep in mind that if you’re not okay with what you don’t have, you’ll never appreciate what you do have.
Always trying to chase happiness definitely affects the way you think and if you are constantly chasing this, you need to start to think differently because if you don’t find happiness, self doubt and negativity can creep in. If you want to know more about avoiding self-doubt and developing a positive mindset, check out the featured resource below for a free detailed report; download, read it and take action 🙂
Let me ask you something? Is happiness a choice? Can people really choose to feel happy or not?
There are conflicting studies and opinions about general happiness and choosing to be happy. Both arguments have merit, but the truth seems to be somewhere in the middle.
There are certain conditions that do affect one’s ability to choose happiness such as depression and other mood disorders. Some people have difficulty controlling emotions, but it’s a skill that can be learned with practice.
Choosing to be happy may seem difficult, but there are things most people can do to increase their level of happiness.
Before jumping right in and learning ways to increase happiness, you need to learn about conditions that may make it difficult to will yourself to be happy. Depression and other mood disorders, ADHD, PTSD, a disability, grief, or poverty make choosing to be happy more challenging.
If you are dealing with any of these issues, there are still practical ways you can increase your happiness, but it may be more difficult. Keep in mind that change takes time, but it is achievable.
Choosing to be happy is more than just willing yourself to feel happy. Part of it is thinking positively and thinking happy thoughts, but there are also more practical ways to make yourself happier.
Studies have identified several factors of happiness: social relationships, temperament or your ability to adapt, money, society and culture, and positive thinking styles.
Temperament is partly genetic, but it can still be improved with practice. Below you will learn about some things that you can do in each area to make yourself happy.
Improve current relationships by reaching out more often, opening lines of communication about past negative experiences, forgiving or seeking forgiveness, or making more time for your friends and family.
Make an effort to make new friends. Take on a new hobby, take a class, join a club, or go to different places in order to meet new people. You can also reach out to others online through social media or dating apps. Don’t be afraid to talk to new people and exchange phone numbers with people you get along with.
Invite friends and family members out for lunch, shopping, or have them over for coffee. Reach out. It can be tempting to wait for others to make the first move so be bold and take the initiative yourself; I’m sure your friends and family will truly appreciate you making the effort to reach out to them.
Practice pausing before you react to something. Give yourself a moment to get your emotions in check so that you respond in the way that you really want to rather than having an outburst.
This is a skill that can have a profound effect on both you and those around you; no-one likes to be around someone who gets moody or angry at the drop of a hat.
So, when something triggers you, pause, take a breath and think about how you would want someone to treat you in this situation.
Try to be more open to other people’s ideas and practice letting go of your need to control.
Increase your income by finding a new job, asking for a raise, or taking on a second job. This is not always easy and can be risky, but could definitely be worth it in the long run.
Be open to other career paths. It’s very easy to become comfortable in your career, but is it really what you want to do? Being stuck in a job/career that doesn’t inspire you can be a real drain on your happiness; it’s not just about money, but the sense of fulfillment you get out of what you do.
Look for things you can do to earn a passive income. This is where the internet can come in to play.
There has never been a better time to start an online business and this could just be a side hustle to help you make a mortgage or car payment and if you can set up a business with a recurring monthly payment for customers, all the better.
Pay off debt or avoid taking on debt. if you have any debt, but especially large amounts of debt, this should be an absolute priority for you before anything else. This can be quite painful to begin with but you must take responsibility and deal with it and by doing so, you can feel much happier about yourself.
Set a budget and stick with it so you can have money to do the things that are important to you. Linked to the point above about debt, stop spending money that you don’t have on things you don’t need!
Embrace local culture and society if they’re a positive influence in your life. Learn, explore, and enjoy your environment and the people you share it with.
Don’t be afraid to change your environment or seek change in your current one. Do what you can to be a positive influence. Stand up for what you believe in and speak out against social injustice.
Choose a positive mantra and repeat it several times a day. Positive thinking may feel and sound a little cliched but it does work to put you in a better frame of mind.
Keep a gratitude journal or make a list of things you’re grateful for. Gratitude is really powerful and you do have a lot to be grateful for.
Here is an article about the science of gratitude and if you really want to take your gratitude practice to the next level, then take a look at the Grateful Mind training here as it is a fantastic course all about using gratitude in your life.
Make sure you’re not practicing negative self talk, and if you are, change your inner monologue.
Watch comedies and do other things that will make you laugh more. Laughter really is the best medicine 😁
Practice smiling even when you don’t feel like it. People smile because they’re happy, but people also become happier when smiling.
You can choose to be happy, but it’s more than just saying “I’m happy”.
Choosing to be happy is choosing to focus on the good in your life, and having the courage to make changes in your life that will lead you to more happiness. You have options and you can choose to be happy.
