If you want to be successful in life, whether that be in business, relationships or anything else, I’m sure that you know about the importance of setting goals to help you achieve the results you desire.
But can I ask you a question?
Do you know what the most important kind of goal is for your life?
We all have goals that we set and we know the importance of goal setting and it’s one of those topics that gets beaten to death and a lot of us don’t want to hear about goal setting anymore.
You do, I do, we all do goal setting at one level or another. Maybe you just do it mentally and you think about them from time to time.
Other people like me, I’m very, very strict about my goals. I’m always writing them down and refining them.
But there are different kinds, and this is a very, very critical aspect.
There is a type of goal where you define what you want to do, there is a type of goal where you define what you want to have and there’s also a kind of goal where you define who you want to be.
The kind of person you want to be.
It’s the third one, the goals you set on the type of person you want to be, that are the most pivotal, most important and most influential in your life.
Your material wants or even bigger wants than that, the things you would like to acquire, the things you would like to eventually achieve in your life, some you’ll hit and some you’ll won’t.
Some will take longer than planned, some you’ll maybe get shorter than you planned. They’re going to be all over the map.
As an example, you may be at a certain financial position right now. Let’s say you’re earning $50,000 a year and you want to take that to $100,000.
There are a number of different ways you could do that. You could set a goal to do that within the next year, the next six months or the next three years and you go after it.
You may or may not hit the goal, and you may or may not try as hard as you can, although the whole point of goal setting is you do try and you go for it.
But this is a measurable, specific thing that you’re shooting for and you may or may not get there.
There’s all kinds of circumstances, things that could come up that could prevent it from happening.
Sure, you can have a plan that says I want to get from 50k to 100k and I’m going to do this, this, this and this over the next X amount of months or years and you do those things and that plan may or may not work.
But what if you started asking yourself or writing a goal down to say, here’s who I want to be.
I want to be a positive and uplifting person. I want to be loving towards my family. Every time I see my family I want them to feel excited in my presence. I want them to feel uplifted.
I want them to feel inspired. When I meet new people I want them to feel like they just met somebody really interesting, and they want to get to know me at a deeper level.
I want to set a goal to be the kind of person that follows through on every commitment I make to myself.
I’m going to achieve XYZ by a certain date, such as I’m going to lose 20 pounds by March 30th is very results driven. It’s very achievement driven, and the timeline for that may change.
You don’t know how quickly you can lose that weight and you want to be able to do it in a healthy way, so you may have to adjust that plan.
But who do you have to be to reach that weight?
You have to be the kind of person who commits to their goals, who does whatever it takes, who when they say they’re going to do something they do it and follow through and hold themselves accountable.
So here’s my challenge to you, or even call it a suggestion or tip.
Begin journaling on a daily basis, writing down where you’re at but more importantly where you want to go, goals.
If you want to go to a conference next year to learn something new, write that down. That’s a great goal to have. You need to know how much money it’s going to take you to get there and all that.
But I also want you to start thinking about two or three or even four who do I want to be type of goals.
What I found is when I started doing this, I started writing things down like I want to be an inspiring person to be around for my family.
I want my family to feel loved and excited when I’m around. I want my family to run and give me a huge hug when I walk in the door after being gone for a long time. That’s the kind of person I want to be.
When I write that down and remind myself this is who I want to be, all those other goals I find come to me a little bit more naturally. They come to me easier.
It’s because I’m acting and behaving in a way that’s congruent with those goals.
If I say I want to be a committed, dedicated person who follows through on his commitments and then I set a really, really aggressive goal like doubling my income in what some may deem an unrealistic period of time, I’m way more likely to hit that goal if I’m the kind of person who sticks to his commitments and then goes above and beyond the call of duty and does whatever it takes in any situation to create whatever I envision.
So that’s the difference. That’s the key. You may not have done this before. I know it was a relatively new concept for me.
When I started doing that, it had such a deep impact on a daily basis.
It literally, in those moments of weakness where I wanted to break a commitment and go back into an old habit that would have prevented those cool goals from coming into my life, these being goals would remind me of the kind of person I need to be and I want to be and intend to do.
I want to live this way every single day, and so I write those goals down on a daily basis and it keeps me in check. It keeps me on track for where I want to go.
So do this. Have some fun with it. Think about the kind of person you want to be, write it down, explain it in as much detail and then do it daily and repeat it to yourself and start living this way.
All those material goals and wants are going to come to you.
Have you ever felt afraid? So afraid that you couldn’t even move?
Don’t worry if you have; you are not alone!
Fear is a normal emotion. Sometimes, it can be beneficial because it makes you aware of risks, keeps you alert, and improves mental focus. However, too much fear will have the opposite effect and can paralyse you.
However, don’t fret as even the most successful people experience this feeling. The key is to prevent it from dictating your actions. To be successful at anything in life you really must “feel the fear and do it anyway!”
Unfortunately, this human emotion isn’t all black and white but rather many shades of grey. Fear can take many forms, from mild anxiety to downright debilitating overthinking.
Fear is a natural reaction to many circumstances; indeed, it developed to save us from dangerous encounters.So, yes, under certain circumstances, it can protect you from danger and stop impulsive behaviors. But, because it’s closely tied into your gut instinct, it can also help you improve your decision making.
The problem is that fear can be triggered by tiny circumstances that get blown up out of all proportion in your mind. This triggers your “fight or flight” reflex but there isn’t really anything to fight or run from, but psychologically fear has begun to sink in and it a profound effect on the quality and direction of your life.
Let’s say you want to quit your 9-to-5 job and start a creative agency or work as a freelance web designer. You might be afraid that you’ll lose time and money if things don’t work out as you planned. What if you won’t have enough clients? Or what if you get sick and can’t work anymore?
The risks are real, so it’s normal to experience fear. However, you’ll never know what you’re missing if you don’t try.
Who knows? You might have a huge success and build a loyal customer base. Five years from now on, you could have enough money to buy the home of your dreams.
Do you want to live your life wondering What if?
No matter how hard you try, you’ll never be able to get rid of fear completely. Instead, you should make it your ally and use it to fuel your dreams and goals.
Picture yourself reaching your goal, whatever it is. Imagine the worst-case scenario and then come up with a backup plan. Ask yourself: what are the facts? Am I making assumptions? What’s the best thing that can happen? Who can I call for help?
Use your fear as a source of guidance. Assess your inner fears and seek possible solutions.
Using our example above, you could start a web design side hustle in addition to your regular job. This way, if your business fails, you’ll still have an income. If it keeps growing, turn it into a full-time job. With this approach, you’ll get to do what you want and mitigate risks.
Instead of thinking you’ve “failed” and that’s it, it’s over, try to look on it as a learning experience. You now know what doesn’t work, so you are wiser than before.
Use fear to fuel your goals. Move from one “failure” to another; be glad that you know what doesn’t work so you can keep moving forward.
Used this way, fear can be a real force for good in your life and can really drive you on.
Being or feeling scared is natural. True courage comes from stepping up and carrying on regardless of being afraid and this grit is what separates the winners from the losers.
So, the next time you feel afraid, be glad about it and push forward and you will break through and grow as a person and you’ll be one step closer to where you want to be.
