The amount of self-confidence we have as adults, is usually formed from our experiences as a child. Self-confidence and self-esteem are tied into our frame of reference for our world.
When we are small and make a mistake, like spilling a glass of milk all over the table, our first instinct is to look at our parents faces. Their expression tells us first and foremost how this little accident is going to be perceived.
Next, the tone of voice that one or both our parents uses…gives our subconscious mind a reference that is stored.
Our parents, friends and teachers, have a way of presenting and saying things that eventually our brains come to one conclusion.
We decide without really knowing it, that we are not good enough.
When we want to try something new, like ask someone out on a date for the first time, we may logically believe that we have a chance but the little voice in the back of our heads, is telling us that we shouldn’t even try because we aren’t good enough for that person we desire to be with.
Do You Suffer From Low Self Confidence?
We have low self-confidence in some areas but are we totally unconfident?
In school, we might have a great ability to do math and are confident that our math grade will be well above 90%.
In reality, there are many things that we are confident about. It is the small number of things that give us trouble or concern, that causes us to label ourselves as unconfident.
Reframe Your Feelings
The best time to rid of ourselves of that feeling, is the moment that we discover we have it. We need to relabel those feelings, to saying things to ourselves like, “I am having a bit of an issue with this right now, but I will figure out a way to solve it quickly.”
Here is another one. “I feel nervous, but I know that it is just a feeling, nothing more, it is not real and it cannot hurt me. I will do it anyway, not matter how my stomach feels. When I do it, then I will feel awesome!”
There will be no physical injury from going across the room and talking to that person who is very desirable to you. Act as if you are confident. Walk and talk as if you have the same amount of confidence as your favorite athlete.
Low self-confidence can hold you back from getting the job you desire or the mate that you want so much and would marry if possible.
Allowing incidents of being unconfident will stack in your brain, like a pile of dinner plates in the cupboard. Eventually all those plates may cause strain…wear and tear on the cupboard.
Soon everything crashes down. When you find someone to love and marry, you may end up having children. Stop and think how your world of being unconfident will affect any children you may have.
Children are the world’s best mimics. They see that you are afraid to talk on the phone and they may become phone phobic.
They develop an internal dialogue that tells them they are not worthwhile, and their spouse is probably cheating on them right now. That is the reason why they are late.
Observe the children in this instance. We can use a female child for the example and this child sees that every time her father is late, the mother becomes upset and works herself into a frenzy.
It is quite possible that the child will soon have a response that every time the clock hits a certain time and the father does not show up, the child starts to cry.
They are now developing a confidence of the wrong type. They are confident their father is hurt, or their father is a bad person who may be cheating. Later in life, they may feel that all men are capable of being bad and possibly unfaithful. It is stacking to the extreme.
There are many great books and courses on building self-confidence as well as some really incredible software. Here is a recommended software to help you reprogram your mind and have increased self-confidence and success: Mindzoom
Develop Daily Routines To Boost Confidence
Self-confidence is a daily practice. You need to exercise that confident feeling to keep it strong and flexible. Let’s look at three ways that you can do this and then you apply it to your life right now.
Eliminating negative self-talk is huge in the daily practice of self- confidence. You need to monitor what negative self-talk you have and when you have it.
For instance, if you watch carefully and you notice that every time you are in a staff meeting, you get anxious because you know that your opinion will be consulted, take note of what you are saying to yourself to cause this feeling.
When you sit in the meeting and find yourself hoping that they will skip over you and that you don’t want to speak because your ideas are not worthy, write that down.
Then write down all the reasons why your ideas are worthy. Pretend that you are in the meeting alone and starting to speak. Would you hesitate? Of course not. You would present the ideas in the best of your ability.
Understand that the opinions of others, are just that…opinions, not reality. Face the fear of speaking and just do it. Build that muscle of facing a fear and soon, you will be strong
Power Up Your Morning
Hit the ground running when you wake up. How do you do this? Simply by not allowing your mind to play negative movies over and over in your mind, while you sleep.
You dream about the last thoughts that you had before you drifted off to deep sleep. When you wake, you may not understand that uncomfortable dream you had.
However, the negative thoughts that you had, are layered into the dream and take on other roles. To prepare your mind for positive dreams, leading to a positive awakening, state a new belief about yourself over and over until you drift off to sleep.
Try something like, “I love to express my business ideas in a packed meeting. I contribute!” The next meeting you have, you will feel energetic and excited about sharing ideas that will help the growth of your company.
Instead, encourage yourself and tell the inner you, that next time things are going to be gold. We all have moments of so-called failure. If we choose to learn from these moments, we grow. If we choose to be demeaning to ourselves, we wither.
Even the best of the best in athletics have times when things don’t work out for them. Look at Tiger Woods for a great example. He was at the very top of his game, but his health and other things lead him to fall from number 1 in golf to lower than 200 in the world.
He could have said to himself that he was a failure. But Tiger Woods has a winning mindset. For every setback, he works twice as hard to excel. If you could look inside Tiger Woods mind, you would see a strong focused mind, with a lot of self-confidence. Tiger knows he can be number 1 in the world of golf again.
Practice daily visualization of the “new” you. One of the reasons that actors become actors, is because they are unhappy with who they are.
In turning into someone completely different for a movie, during that time they immerse themselves into a role. Perhaps that role may be that of a leading man or someone who is very funny and happy.
But what we find, is that this is a time limited action and after the movie is over, they sometimes revert to the sad and unconfident person they are in reality.
When someone who is loved and admired as an actor, takes their own life, we are saddened and surprised. We see them on screen or at movie premiers and they seem to have it all.
However, they have never learned to be the happy self-confident person they want to be in real life. You can visualize and direct yourself to be the person you have always desired to be.
In this, you are not acting, but actually seeing yourself in your mind, becoming what you desire, day by day until it fully ingrained in your mind and body.
There are courses and software that are specifically designed to help you get over any hurdles that block your way. Head over to Clickbank and review this great software: Mindzoom
The ideas presented in this software are tried and tested. You can become self-confident today.
But, you do need to take action first. Without any action, there isn’t any moving forward, instead you stay in neutral or unfortunately slide into reverse, becoming depressed and extremely anxious.
Here is to your success.